• It’s been a bad season for me, I’m not trying to complain here, but have a thread to keep myself in check.

    • Diet
      my diet is horrible I eat a lot of fast food, and drink a lot of soda. Lots of sugar intake.
    • I’m going to slowly cut these out,
    • I don’t have a meal plan, but I’m working on making one. Such as what meats to eat/ not eat, what greens to have etc.
    • Physical
      • I’m not fat but I’m getting a skinny/fat body going.
    • other than skiing, or climbing( which isn’t too often) I don’t work out.
    • I’m going to start getting into weights and try to take climbing more serious, and do some body workouts with the climbing added in.


    • my closet is very basic, I’m on a budget but I’m going to try and shop around for a more unique style.
    • I’m not too focused on this part just because my others are more important
    • Mental
    • I’ve been really down, due to anger, being unforgiving, porn, my diet.
    • I have no passion to change
    • I feel just tired, and don’t want to do shit.
    • I’m going to try and just push through, if I don’t feel like going to the gym, I’ll force myself (Shout out to WB and Jnyx) this goes for everything
    • read books, any in mind please offer a list, I’d be glad to have a go.
    • meditate, not in a hippy way, just sit in quiet and relax.

    I have more to add, but I’ll keep it with these notes for now. I have a lot to change I wanted to start this on February, and indulge in my downfall till that time,but here I am changing. I’ll try to update every 2 weeks. Thank you Brothers

  • Paul, you probably know what we’re all gonna say before we even say it. Don’t eat filth, lift weights on whatever schedule you can, don’t scrimp too much on style, Game > porn.

    The major thing is this: anger + lethargy = depression, and that is what you’re describing dealing with. Soul-sickness. It will eat you alive if you don’t resist. Don’t wait for Feb, or for tomorrow, or for the next 10 minutes. Resist, now.

    Right now.

  • @consolationofphilosophy said in Improvement:

    anger + lethargy = depression

    “anger + lethargy = depression” never looked at it that way but 100% true.

  • administrators

    @paul Good job on taking that first step, Paul. Keep us posted and post any questions or problem areas you run across. We have quite the collection of knowledge and skills here and if one person can’t help you, someone else will be able to.

  • @paul What kind of books are you looking at?

    Cutting out soft drinks for water was the single biggest step I took. I still drink one occasionally, but that used to be all I drank and it showed. You’ll feel a lot better doing this alone.

  • @paul Good job on identifying the issues that are causing you trouble. That’s the first step. The second step is cutting out the bad stuff. As we say in the fitness community “Abs aren’t made in the gym, they’re made in the kitchen.” You can work out until the cows come home, but if you’re eating garbage… Just like computers: Garbage in, garbage out.

    The first thing to do is cut out all the simple carbs: high fructose corn syrup (sodas, sweet desserts, even ketchup), cane sugar, bread, cake, cookies, pasta, white rice, white potatoes and the like. Look up the Primal Blueprint and start to tailor your diet in that direction. Once you get rid of the sugars, which are poisoning and fattening you, your mental outlook will improve.

    Ease back into working out. Don’t overdo it at first and cause yourself so much pain that you don’t want to do it again. More is not always better. A good place to start is to read the book Body By Science. Chronic cardio like jogging or long distance cycling isn’t good for you. Stick with resistance training (weights or weight machines). If you do HIT (High Intensity Training) you will improve your cardio, increase lean muscle mass and gain strength which will make you feel really good.

    Keep in touch with us here. We will encourage you and even bust your balls when you need it! I wish you the very best as you start this new journey!

  • For diet, just focus on cutting out bad stuff. That’s 90% of the battle. Bad stuff means

    1. all sugars – that crap goes by 46 names
    2. all chemicals
    3. all seed oils – canola, corn, palm, and soybean are the WORST
    4. most carbs – keep a few, but remember that ya gotta earn them
    5. booze – stay away if you’re fighting depression

    Once you cut those out, you’re by default left with meat, fish, dairy, vegetables, and a little fruit. That’s perfect. For cooking fats, use good olive oil and Kerrygold butter. Season to taste.

    Personally, if I’m ever in a bad headspace, I like to be around other people. A social group will relieve that anger/internal stress.

    You also could talk to a counselor. I’ve had a few sessions in the past, and they really help.

  • @jumpnjive Agreed. I drink a total of about 8 oz of ginger ale per month. Once you cut that stuff out, you don’t miss it.

  • Feeling very good at the moment, porn is the number one killer for me. I’ve been on that train for a long time, day 1 for me right now, thank you for the diet suggestions took down all the information, and will apply it @consolationofphilosophy very true I do have the answers, it’s easy for me to just ask for help and never apply the info.
    Thank you everyone.

  • @paul dont try to change everything at once focus on a few key areas. Cook at home more, shop around the edges of the supermarket, pack your lunch for work, switch to iced tea then unsweetened. Cut out drinking as much as you can besides wasted calories it wont help your depression. Porn is an addiction, treat it as one. Figure out your triggers and how to redirect your focus, identify times you tend to look at it and eliminate your screen time at those times. The longer you go without it the easier it gets.

    I am down 35lbs in the last year mostly through diet alone. I havent looked at porn in almost 5 months.

    Best of luck.

  • Hi Paul. Good for taking this step. Here’s some advice based solely on my own experiences:

    Maybe don’t talk about it too much. For many people (including me), talking about doing something checks off the box in the brain and then we don’t feel the drive to do it. Accountability groups don’t fall under that I bet.

    Make big changes. When I only make small changes my habit systems are unchanged and they drag me back to my old behavior. Disrupt your habits and build new systems.

    “The Power of Habit” by Charles Duhigg gives an interesting look at habits and triggers. You are the only person who can change you, but knowing how people work might bring useful ideas to mind.

    Don’t think too much. It is a terrible substitute for action. If you don’t know if something will work, just try it and find out.

    In the same vein, self-help and mindset books can easily become crutches that let you feel like you are doing something without actually doing something.

    There is no substitute for bloody-mindedness.

    Everyone else: good advice – I learned a few things reading it.

  • Just putting in work. Watched porn, but I still went to the gym, which was hard but I felt better after. I’ve been having days where I’m just lost and the biggest reason is because I don’t really live for God, as a person who grew up religious, I really left the “Faith”, I believe in god, I just don’t follow the bible, and it’s really been fucking with my head. I’m not sure if I’ll ever go back. I’m not trying to bitch here, rather talk to people that might understand.

  • @paul I completely understand. I walked away from my faith when I was young. In fact, due to my upbringing and education I was quite Biblically literate and made a game of baiting Christians. I would ask hard questions that they couldn’t answer and watch them become uncomfortable.

    But as I got older, I realized that there is a certain emptiness if you abandon your Creator. I am still a Christian although I avoid the organized church. I have come to the conclusion over the years that there most definitely is a God and if you abide by His very basic rules, you will avoid a whole lot of pain and turmoil in your life.

    I have done a lot praying, meditating and contemplating about this matter. My belief is: If God is omnipotent (all powerful), omniscient (all knowing) and eternal (having no beginning or end) then God is the Universe and we are all just tiny pieces of “Him”.

    I also believe we are all interconnected spiritually (which explains a lot of the “odd” phenomena I have experienced in this life). I would strongly encourage you to seek wisdom and knowledge in these matters. I also encourage you to give up porn. It is really bad for you in many ways. I wish you every blessing in your struggle. I have struggled with these things too. Hang in there, you will overcome.

  • Don’t overthink, take action, forgive and forget.
    That’s my phrase for now.

  • @boothe i know this post is super old but hey boothe how come chronic cardio isnt good for you

  • @iattacku We are designed to move slowly over long distances, sprint occasionally (think escaping from an enemy or predator here) and pick up fairly heavy things (here again, occasionally). When you engage in chronic cardio, your body doesn’t have sufficient time to recuperate. This causes stress so your body releases stress hormones in response. Overuse (i.e. long distance running) causes joint damage as well. Your body responds with endorphins to quell the pain. This is what is referred to as “runners high” and I’ve known guys with trashed knees from running several miles a day who couldn’t quit doing it even though their injuries were getting worse. They were addicted to their own endorphins! Another issue chronic cardio causes is an enlarged heart. This is the reason you’ll read about men in their mid fifties to early sixties who are fit, eat right and seem to be great athletes just keel over dead from heart problems. I highly recommend that you check out more info on the primal lifestyle and why it works. Mark was a top athlete when he was young and trashed his health with chronic cardio. I’ve read his book, The Primal Blueprint and it makes sense. That’s a good place to start. It’s wonderful to be fit and athletic at my age, but like anything else, all things in moderation. I eat right and exercise, but I don’t overdo it and my body rewards me for that with wonderful health. I highly recommend a primal lifestyle modified to your specific needs.

  • @iattacku
    what boothe said. (shakes head in disbelief)

    the only thing i’d add is that the type of surface really, really matters for running. You won’t trash your knees on softer surfaces, which is why I only run on dirt, sand, or grass (barefoot is best). I also love playing soccer on spongy turf for that reason. No way could I run for 50 minutes on concrete like I do on turf during a soccer game.

    I’ve followed this guideline for the last twenty years. As a result, I’m in my early 40s with zero knee problems. Zero pain anywhere, except occasional back pain from weightlifting. That’s why I can still play against teams full of 25-yr-old former Division 2 soccer players, like I did last week, even though I’m technically old enough to be their father. (They were really f’in good, but we beat em by one!)

    And to your question, yeah, chronic cardio is stupid. Anything over 45 minutes is a waste, IMHO.

  • @jammyjaybird said in Improvement:

    Zero pain anywhere, except occasional back pain from weightlifting.

    That disturbs me. I’m almost sixty and still deadlift, do bent rows and squat with no lower back pain. Do you have any idea which lift is causing this? A simple form change could fix it. For heavens sake, you don’t do “good mornings” do you?

  • @boothe Yeah, I know exactly which movements cause my lower back pain, and I avoid them. Lifting anything above my head will cause it for sure - one chiropractor said that I have a slight extra curvature in my lower spine - so I’ve learned to substitute different exercises in my circuit training class. Occasionally it happens when I do my usual 10x200 seated cable rows. Once it happened on pull-ups, but that was because my muscles were cold off the street - now I use the dry sauna before working out.

    What’s a good morning?

  • @jammyjaybird

    What’s a good morning?

    It’s a barbell exercise where you put the barbell across your shoulders like you’re going to perform a squat, then bend at the waist to work your hamstrings. It’s a fantastic way to help your chiropractor pay for his summer home or end up with back surgery. I recommend deadlifts and or stiff leg dead lifts with proper. Here’s a link about “Good Mornings”, but don’t do them!:

Log in to reply

Looks like your connection to A Kings Castle was lost, please wait while we try to reconnect.